academia is hell

Puppet Lawyer: the Puppet Lawyer edition

Puppet Lawyer looks like they’ve had a long night. Other Puppet Lawyer is sitting on the stand, holding their puppet law degree on their lap. It obviously needs to urinate. They’ve been at this quite a while and Puppet Lawyer still doesn’t know how to phrase the question.

Puppet Judge: Puppet Lawyer, you must ask your first question.

Puppet Lawyer: (Makes the clear decision to just go for it.) Did you…put your name on a letter stating that it is your professional opinion that the respondent is telling the truth because he said he was?

Puppet Law Degree finally gets free and makes a break for it, over the stage and through the audience.

Other Puppet Lawyer: Well, he also said there was interpersonal conflicts between the student and all of their instructors!

Puppet Lawyer: And you believed it — because, again — the lawyer told you there was?

Other Puppet Lawyer: Exactly!