MIDDLEHILL #2: RABBIT
The grass out on Matt’s front lawn was starting to get shaggy. Matt was “employed” as an assistant groundskeeper by the private school Sam went to, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with shaggy grass. The headmaster had wanted Matt for his personal use, not mowing the lawn. Matt had found the man disgusting, but Sam’s educational future at the posh school had been too much for Matt to turn down. The headmaster had used Matt’s need to get his brilliant brother into a school Sam would find challenging as leverage. Before Kevin, trading three “dates” a week for Sam’s future had been an improvement from working the park. He couldn’t know at the time how much more Sam deserved than Matt had been able to provide for him.
As it turned out, Matt had only had to be with Cornelius twice before Kevin stopped the contract. He should have trusted Kevin enough that he wouldn’t have made the deal, but Cornelius had been willing to offer Sam a scholarship on paper, and the scandal of his wanting to fuck teen male prostitutes had promised mutually assured destruction if he went back on his word. Matt had just met Kevin when he signed the deal and didn’t know how to trust the man with Sam’s future.
The wind touched his neck where the hair had covered, and the wax job made the fancy silk underwear he’d chosen feel even softer. Kevin’s black car pulled up in front of the yard.
Matt wanted to scratch at his arms as Kevin got out. He didn’t run to his lover, but he certainly walked fast enough. Kevin pulled Matt to him, and they kissed. Everything that had filled him with nervous anxiousness stopped. Matt glanced at Kevin, concerned. Kevin didn’t usually drive. The car drove off.
“I didn’t have enough energy to jump. I just need to rest. I’ll be fine.”
Matt slipped his hands up under Kevin’s jacket and ran them up Kevin’s back. Kevin’s skin felt as though it had been roasting in the car for a while. He looked exhausted. He looked better than the last time but his hair had gone from golden blond to yellow. His skin had lost the marble glow from the inside. He should be deep under the hill, recuperating whatever he’d lost, but he was here in the human world, with Matt.
But when Kevin smiled like that, Matt wanted to kiss him. As if he was reading his mind, Kevin pulled him close and kissed him. Kevin’s chin felt extra bristly on Matt’s skin. Kevin slipped his hands under the waistband of Matt’s jeans. He touched Matt’s waxed skin. Matt shivered.
“Let me see,” Kevin said, pulling at Matt’s belt loops.
Matt undid the button on his jeans. Cooler air rushed in as Kevin pulled the jeans away from Matt’s skin. “Did it hurt?” Kevin asked.
Matt had paid gladly for the pain. “You were gone, and I was bored,” Matt said. Kevin ran his nails down Matt’s skin. Matt shivered. He’d known the salon did waxing. He’d asked his hair stylist about it, and it had been on special. The woman who waxed it had been very professional, no matter where she was spreading the wax.
The hurt had felt good. It hadn’t caused any real pain. Kevin stared down into Matt’s jeans. The skin wasn’t as itchy with the attention.
“You’re finally wearing the briefs I got you,” Kevin said.
“Do you want me to take them off?” Matt asked.
“Yes.” Kevin kissed Matt again. Kevin’s lips were soft. “What were you doing outside?”
“I was trying to figure out how I’m supposed to cut the grass.”
“It doesn’t need to be cut yet. When it’s time, I can have my landscaper stop by and tend to it.”
“I can do it myself,” Matt said, pulling Kevin behind him. He opened the front door.
“Do you have a lawnmower?” Kevin asked, following him.
“I don’t know,” Matt said. Sam would. There was a lot of stuff in the garage Matt hadn’t gone through yet.
Kevin pushed the door shut and then moved Matt against it. He pushed Matt’s jeans down over his ass. “Do you know the proper ratio of oil to gas to run one?” He wedged his leg between Matt’s thigh.
“It needs oil?” Matt asked, wanting to rub against it. He kicked his shoes off. The silk even balled up was sweet against his skin.
Kevin shrugged. He ran nails across Matt’s back and then put both palms of his hand right next to Matt’s ears, pinning him down. Matt shivered. Kevin kissed his ear and then just breathed on his neck. “Apparently,” he whispered. Matt felt Kevin’s lips brush his bare skin. Kevin still wanted to talk about lawnmowers when Matt was pinned and ready for him. Matt trembled with anticipation. Kevin sucked on his earlobe and then pulled away. “My landscaper needs the work. He has four children.”
“What do you want me to say?” Matt asked.
“I want you to beg.”
He looked up to meet Kevin’s gaze. Looking up made him feel vulnerable but in a way that made him tight in all the right places. “Please, Kevin. Come to bed with me.”
“That’s not begging,” Kevin said. He ran his thumb over Matt’s lip. “I didn’t hear a single tremor.”
“Please,” Matt whispered. He widened his eyes, parted his lips, and shifted down more against Kevin’s thigh. “Kevin, please.”
“Good boy. Take your jeans off.”
Matt glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already two. School got out at three, but Sam could leave early. He raked his bottom lip over his teeth.
“Do it,” Kevin said, his voice low.
Matt’s stomach dropped out, but he was excited at the idea. He flushed but lowered them down to the ground. He pulled them off. He was going to bolt to the bedroom, but Kevin held out his hand for them. Matt draped them over Kevin’s forearm.
“Your shirt,” Kevin said.
Matt shivered but pulled his T-shirt off as well. He didn’t have socks, and the briefs had come off with his jeans. Being completely naked when Kevin was still wearing a suit was weirdly hot. Kevin stared at him more hungrily than the four days apart warranted. Matt wondered how many hours Kevin had crammed into that time.
Matt balled his fists up rather than cover himself. Kevin nudged Matt’s legs apart an extra couple of inches. Matt looked up, startled. Kevin looked up and locked his gaze into Matt’s. “Now turn around.”
He wanted to protest that Sam could be home, but it was ridiculous that Sam would come home early. He turned.
Kevin picked up Matt’s hands and put them up against the door. “Don’t move,” Kevin told him.
Matt froze. He could be naked by the front door and not freak out, but sex would be too risky. He didn’t want to disappoint Kevin in any way, but he wanted to enjoy their first time back.
Kevin moved in to kiss the back of Matt’s neck. He ran his hands up Matt’s thighs. He wrapped one hand around Matt’s chest and the other down over Matt’s hip. “Breathe,” Kevin told him.
Matt hadn’t taken a full breath since Kevin told him to take his jeans off. The first rush of new air was like a drug.
“That’s right. Relax for me.”
If Kevin had told him just to relax, Matt would have frozen stiff, but for Kevin, Matt would do anything.
“You look beautiful just like that,” Kevin told him.
“You’re not going to make me crawl to the bedroom, are you?” Matt asked. The idea of Sam seeing Matt like that was the only mortifying part. If it had been just a few hours earlier, the idea might have scared him, but it also warmed his insides.
“I wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do. You should know that by now.”
“I’m naked in the entranceway,” Matt said, staring at the door.
“You can tell me to stop.”
Kevin didn’t play with consent. Matt didn’t want it to end. “Could your guy at least show me how to do the grass? I still want to know. It’s my house. I want to take care of it.”
Kevin made a clicking sound in the back of his throat. He must have thought Matt was just being stubborn again. Matt knew he wasn’t easy to be with. Anything set him off. Sometimes he felt like nothing but a jangle of nerves. “If you want. You could even mow the lawn on a hot August evening with your shirt off.”
Matt had never let himself think that far ahead. It was already April. In a few short months, it would be that hot August night. Matt put his head on Kevin’s shoulder, and Kevin put his arms around him. “Are you going to be here to watch?” Matt asked.
“I will always be at your beck and call until you’re done with me,” Kevin said, not letting him go. “Did the waxing help?”
Matt nodded. He’d had a few other distractions this week too. Thom, the cop who had helped Matt in December when he’d first met Kevin, had come to take him for dinner a few nights ago. He still visited Matt, even though he’d been busted down to a beat cop after what had happened. The request had come down from Delorise herself, and she had a lot of influence on the police department. They had gone without Sam the night before. The time alone had been good. There hadn’t been any news about the murder in the truck stop bathroom that had happened the night Kevin met Matt. Thom had kept Matt up-to-date. The cops didn’t suspect Matt, but he’d been the last person who saw the victim alive.
Matt’s jaw hurt from how badly he’d been clenching it. “Did you get what you needed to get done?” Matt asked.
“Almost,” Kevin said.
“Almost?” Matt asked. “You have to go away again?”
Kevin exhaled. “Can we not discuss that right now?”
Matt’s heart dropped. He took his hands off the door and hugged his body. He didn’t turn around. He bowed his head. “You promised.” He picked up the clothes from where Kevin had laid them on the table and went off to the bedroom. He had laundry to do.
Kevin didn’t grab him but followed him back down the hall. “I have the weekend free. Everything will be over by Wednesday.”
Matt folded the jeans. He’d had to deal with disappointment his entire life. He’d never gotten what he wanted, and things only turned around once Kevin was in his life, but Matt wanted to chain himself to Kevin. “May I come with you?”
“No. It’s too dangerous.”
“Then you should stay home. In fact, I order you to stay.”
“Matt, please. You’re making this harder than it needs to be. It will be two, three days at the maximum.”
Matt could get angry, go off in a snit, or just sulk, but Kevin’s expression was already pained. “I miss you. I barely got to Friday. Please ask your brother to send someone else. It’s already been weeks.”
Kevin knelt down in front of him. Matt went to fall back, but Kevin took his hand. Matt could have yanked it back, but Kevin pressed it against his cheek. “Sweetheart. If there was even the slightest possibility I could stay, I would. You can’t come with me, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Matt knelt down beside him. The carpet on the wooden floor was soft on his knees. Kevin made every part of Matt’s world better. “I can do two more days,” Matt allowed. He took hold of Kevin’s tie and wrapped it around his hand until he reached the knot. Kevin closed his eyes and bowed his head. He even parted his lips.
Matt pushed Kevin back with his fist. Kevin shifted, bracing himself with his hands behind him as he sat on his ass. Matt knelt over his lap, still holding on to the tie. Kevin’s hair had fallen out of place. Matt felt a rush of pleasure for being over him.
“Tell me what you want,” Kevin said. “Name it.”